Our journey in living, loving and learning after loss.

Showing posts with label Europe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Europe. Show all posts

Monday, October 22, 2012

Home...

The trip is officially over and we are safe and sound back in the states. While we had an amazing time and I'm so grateful to have had the chance to see everything, I'm very glad to be back home.

Unfortunately, we did not get a "Surprise" Europe baby. In fact, I'm quite sure a higher power is slapping me in the face. While at Jerusalem we had the opportunity to go to the Wailing Wall. There you can write a prayer request or a request in general on a piece of paper to put on the wall. I don't think I need to say what it was that I wished for, but alas it was pointless. When I got back to the ship that night, I found out that AF arrived nearly 6 days early. Crazy huh? I ask "God" for a healthy baby and I get my period instead. Coincidence?

Either way we're still on the TTCAL horse. If we are unsuccessful this month with just throwing things up in the air, I'm going back to full on charting with the next AF. I'm sure it will be pointless and we'll end up having to go to the RE, but maybe. You never know.

Friday, July 6, 2012

92 Days…

Or 3 Months…

Finally in the double digits! Thought we’d never get to this point, but now that we have time feels like it is racing by. Hard to believe that at this exact time in 92 days we will be on a flight to Rome. I’m finally starting to get excited. About time right?
I actually do have some trip updates.

Excursions
We have officially booked/paid for ALL our excursions/tours for this trip. Yay! Here’s the line up:

Catacombs
Ghost & Mystery Walking Tour
Colosseum
Egypt
Israel (first day)
Israel (second day)
Greece
Naples
Rome

Out of all of these, there is one that really has me thrilled and that would be Egypt! I cannot wait to see the pyramids and the Nile River. I plan on getting dirt/sand from all these places. That’s legal right? It’s not like we’re getting water from the Nile, not that I’d want to stick my hand in there to begin with. I guess Nile crocodiles are pretty bold. They aren’t scared of humans and come pretty close to town. No thank you.

Vaccines
We’ve also started the process of getting our vaccinations. Let me tell you folks, this has been a good time. Allow me to spare you the hell that is finding all this out on your own and just give you the cheat sheet on how to do this.

Step 1: Go to the CDC Traveler’s Health page to view which vaccines are required/recommended for each country you are attending.

Step 2: Decide which vaccines you want to get. We’re playing it safe and getting them all (except Rabies) to prevent any potential illness. Not to mention most of these you should have just in general.

Step 3: Contact your insurance company and see which vaccines they cover. Make sure to specifically ask about travel vaccines. This is where the list of vaccines you will need will come in handy. Insurance companies can be sneaky so ask about your specific ones.

Step 4: Ask your insurance company if they cover Take Care Walgreens Clinic or CVS’ Minute Clinic. If yes, after step 5 proceed to step 6. If not, after step 5 proceed to step 7. Also, be sure to find out if you are covered by your insurance should you have an emergency out of country! Some companies do NOT cover such things so you will need to get a second temporary policy.

Step 5: Print out your vaccination card. This is VERY handy to have. If you take the card to the clinic with you, they will fill in all the information. Also be sure to ask for a copy of all the vaccine information (lot number, etc.) this way should you react poorly, you can take that info with you to the emergency room.

Step 6: Make an appointment with Take Care or Minute Clinic to get your general (they do NOT do any traveler vaccines like Yellow Fever, Typhoid, etc.) vaccines. Since our insurance covers vaccines and these clinics, we paid $0.00! Not even a visit co-pay!

Step 7: Make an appointment with a travel medicine specialist for your travel vaccines (and general vaccines if needed). You can find a good resource here to locate your nearest one. I’m not going to lie, travel medicine specialists are EXPENSIVE! We’re getting Typhoid Fever shots, just 1 each and paying nearly $200. That’s the cheapest we found! You can also contact your county health department. They usually offer these shots as well for just over what travel medicine specialists are charging. Jerks.

So far I’ve gotten my Tetanus, Hepatitis A (shot 1 of 2) & Hepatitis B (shot 1 of 3). In 30 days I will go back for my 2nd Hepatitis B shot and my flu shot. T only needed his Hepatitis A series as he’s had Tetanus & Hepatitis B for work. When he goes back for shot 2 he’ll also get his flu shot. Next month we both will go to get our Typhoid Fever. We’ll then officially be all vaccinated and ready to go.

We opted out of Rabies for a few reasons, but the main one being we’re not doing anything with animals. Sure, a bat could bite me while we’re out and about, but our exposure to mammals is seriously minimal. Only exposure we’ll have is the camels. It doesn’t help that the Rabies shot is a 3 part series at $250 per shot! Hell to the no!

Travel Safety & Documents
I’m also starting work on our travel book that we will take with us. It will include all our important data like printed reservation receipts, vouchers, copies of our health stuff, embassy information. Please, I cannot stress this enough, definitely get ALL your embassy information ahead of time, including lost passport numbers. The last thing you want is to be stranded in a foreign county with a major language barrier trying to figure this all out. Also make sure you register your travel with the government. Takes a few minutes, but then they have a list of all US Citizens in a country so should a disaster (either manmade or natural) occur, they know who they need to get.

We’re also making copies of all this jazz for our families back here. That way should we go missing, our parents have all the information to give to the officials here. This includes color copies of our passports, copies of all the embassy information, copies of all the hotels we’ll be staying at, copies of our cruise information and our living wills. You can never be too safe friends. Better to have and not need, than to need and not have.

Finalize decision about trip
Put deposit on cruise
Put in for vacation
Put in for vacation (T)
Pay remaining balance of cruise
Book airfare

Sign up for shore excursions   Rome (before cruise)   Rome (after cruise)   Egypt   Israel   Greece   Naples
Book hotel for days before cruise & after
Make sure vaccines up to date
   L: Hep A, Hep B, Tetanus, Flu, Typhoid Fever
   T: Hep A, Flu, Typhoid Fever
Get visas for required countries
Get all US Embassy info for each country
Get new luggage
Learn to use digital camera

Sunday, June 3, 2012

124 Days...

Or 4 months & 3 days...

Wow, time finally is starting to feel like it's flying. I logged into my account for the cruise and the little bar at the top is almost halfway. Crazy to think that almost 4 months ago is when T and I decided to take this trip and now we're almost halfway! Hopefully we continue this momentum!

I am excited to say that I just booked our excursions for Rome before the cruise and the tour we are taking the day we get back. We decided to do Vatican City after the cruise. We started running low on time before and figured we could hit two birds with one stone. The excursion the day we get back takes us from the ship back to Rome and on the tour, dropping us off at the main transfer center which isn't too far from where we will be staying. This way we don't have to battle with the train that day. Not to mention you get off the boat before everyone else since this is an excursion. Woot for not having to wait!! 

Finalize decision about trip
Put deposit on cruise
Put in for vacation
Put in for vacation (T)
Pay remaining balance of cruise
Book airfare
Sign up for shore excursions
  Rome (before cruise)
  Rome (after cruise)
  Egypt
  Israel
  Greece
  Naples
Book hotel for days before cruise & after
Make sure vaccines up to date
Get visas for required countries
Get all US Embassy info for each country
Get new luggage  
Learn to use digital camera

Friday, May 25, 2012

133 Days...

Or 4 months, 1 week & 5 days

I'm an idiot. I was so excited about our new duffel bags and waist packs that I completely spaced the colorful addition to the family, our shoe bags! Doh!

Alright, don't look too closely though because you'll be able to see all the flaws. Why? Because I made them! Yep, I'm learning to sew and figured this would be a good starter project for me. Not sure why my camera makes the colors crazy, but both are a cream base with blue/green/brown dots and pink/gold/purple circles.

Why did I make my own bags when you can buy them? I'm picky, although that isn't something new. I wanted something that was machine washable, durable, and not a plastic bag. Yes, I'm one of those people who wrapped their shoes up in Fry's plastic shopping bags. Allow me to hang my head in shame.When I was in my mad search for the perfect duffel bags I started looking for shoe bags, but was turned off by the colors, but mostly the price. $14.39 plus shipping for 2 bags was a bit step considering we need 6 (3 a piece). So off to Pinterest I went.

It took me all of 4 seconds to find this really easy tutorial. Then I bought some sale fabric at the quilting store and off to the sewing machine I went. I'll admit it was a little difficult to figure it out, but once I finished one the rest went wicked fast! The hardest part was just cutting the fabric, but I was also learning how to use the rotary cutter & mat. I'm sure for someone who isn't a novice seamstress these bags would be a quick afternoon project.

I couldn't be happier with the end results. Sure they aren't perfect, they aren't 100% symmetrical and I'm sure none are identical in size, but they still make me smile every time I look at them. They are also exactly what I want. A nice stiff, but flexible cotton, easy to open/close and fold up into a very small size. At the end of this project, I probably spent around $20 for 6 bags, not too shabby if
you ask me!




Wednesday, May 23, 2012

135 Days...

Or 4 months & 2 weeks...

The mission to find duffel bags is OVER! I ordered them last week and this evening I came home to three lovely boxes sitting in my foyer. I practically jumped for joy when I saw them. I'm an impatient person in case you haven't figured that out yet and I've been dying to see these in person. A lot went into finding the perfect duffel because I am one of the pickiest people alive. When I say picky, I don't just mean I have certain taste and don't like to stray. I mean I will literally not settle for anything that doesn't meet my standards.

My criteria was pretty ridiculous. I wanted a medium size bag that had a shoulder strap and wheels. It had to be easy to pack and also lightweight, but durable. It also needed to be under $50 a bag. I'm not sure if you've ever tried to find a wheeled duffel that has a shoulder strap, it's freaking hard! Apparently if they have wheels the manufacturer just assumes you will never need to carry it. I wanted both because I wanted the luxury of wheeling in on flat surfaces, but the ability to carry it when walking over the cobblestone and doing the train. I also wanted it to be stylish, but that was on the lower end of my priority list. So imagine how ecstatic I was to find this bag.

Wheels..check. Shoulder strap..check. Lightweight and easy to pack..check. Under $50..check. Stylish..check. I was so excited to find this bag and even more excited when I saw the price. It was well under my $50 limit and because I've purchased from ebags before, I got an additional 10% off & free shipping. Score!! T and I ended up going with pretty neutral bags, but mine does have a little more flare. T went with boring, manly, classic black and I went with a black and white houndsooth pattern. I really wanted something that would be easy to pick out on the luggage carousel, but not be overly crazy. 
 
I ended up only taking mine out of the box so far just to see it, play with it and try it out. A couple of negatives right off the bat, the smell. Good god does this bag have a horrible smell. I know it's the materials and thankfully we have enough time to air them out, but this is definitely not one of those buy, get and immediately travel type. I was prepared for that though as a couple of the reviews did note the smell. The next issue is the bottom. Because it does have wheels and a handle (it folds down into a compartment at the bottom of the bag) it does smack against you when you are walking. While this might not sound like a big deal, it's definitely not comfortable. These are not deal breakers though and considering the very reasonable price, we'll keep 'em.

I also got our wallet belts. These will come in handy to keep our personal effects close and protected. They are definitely NOT fashionable, but that doesn't really matter since they will be under our clothes. Now I just need to make sure I keep the minimum in mine and not pack it full like I do my purse. My mental goal is to only carry my money, passport, other important docs and my chapstick & cellphone. Our digital camera is small so that can go in my pocket, but will most likely spend a majority of the time in my hand.

Speaking of my camera, I need to learn how to use that damn thing. I've been wanting to get a better camera, but T refuses until I actually learn how to use our existing one, that we had purchased specifically for Mexico. It was not cheap and I'm sure would take beautiful pictures if I figured out the settings and which ones to use. Great, just added yet another item to my to do list.

Finalize decision about trip
Put deposit on cruise
Put in for vacation
Put in for vacation (T)
Pay remaining balance of cruise
Book airfare
Sign up for shore excursions
  Egypt
  Israel
  Greece
  Naples
Book hotel for days before cruise & after
Make sure vaccines up to date
Get visas for required countries
Get all US Embassy info for each country
Get new luggage  
Learn to use digital camera

Friday, April 20, 2012

168 Days...

Or 5 months, 2 weeks & 2 days depending on how you countdown.

Yet another trip update for you. You might as well get used to them because the closer we get the more there will be! Can you blame me though? This trip is epic!

This morning T and I were talking about the trip and made the decision that an interior room is just not us, so we upgraded to a balcony room! Woot!! The decision was actually made very easy since Royal Caribbean has this "Guarantee Price." Basically what it means is you book a room, but don't get to pick the level or side of the boat, etc. Instead they see what rooms need to be filled and put you where they have openings, which could also be the more upgraded room for no extra cost. Since we just want a balcony room and don't care which one, this was the way for us to go. Not to mention it will help with the clothesline situation.

Now before you roll your eyes and say we're crazy, allow me to explain. We're going on a 16 day trip with only a backpack and duffel bag each so it's not like I can take 16 days worth of clothes. We're going to have to pack lightly and wash what we can, mostly our undergarments and light clothes. Obviously our jeans and heavier items will be sent to the main laundry on the boat, but at $4.00 a pair of jeans and $2.00 a shirt it can add up quite quickly. Not to mention the idea of some stranger touching my panties freaks me out. Yes, that's the germaphob coming out in me, but eh, I'll take it.

This weekend we're also probably going to book our Colosseum tour. It's a 10 person tour so we need to secure our places because it would SUCK to miss out on this one. We're planning on doing the 8:30 am one so we can go down into the dungeons and see as much as possible. Next up will probably be booking more of our excursions and of course the catacombs tour. I also found this nighttime tour that would be a lot of fun! Since we've added everything else to this trip might as well right?

After everything is booked and paid for it's time to save fun money and buy clothes for this trip. I don't have a lot of light easy to pack type of clothing. In fact, I don't really have any clothing that fits. Damn losing weight. I'll have to buy a new wardrobe, thank goodness for Old Navy. It'll be fun to buy new clothes especially for the trip. You know what, I think I've decided the best part of a trip isn't so much the actual trip, but all the planning that goes into it. Having something to look forward to and get your focus off your job stress, family stress or in our situation, TTCAL stress. This break was definitely welcomed.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Waiting and waiting and waiting...

WTF Dr. Awesome?! I called his office this am for my results hoping that I would get the results this afternoon, but NOPE. No call back. NOTHING! I'm losing my flipping mind here. We're 1 week post HSG & SA and still no results. Exactly how long do they expect me to hold on before I lose my ever loving sanity? Because I'm close. Like real close!

In other news I was able to catch my LH surge this month despite only having 8 OPK's to my name. See, this is what I get for not being psycho about my cycles. I didn't realize that I was short on OPK's until I needed to start using them. Go figure right? At least I've got enough experience with OPK's to not waste them. Now I wait for my temp to spike so we can see how long this LP will be.

On the DIY front, I'm heading to my favorite place on earth this Saturday...IKEA! I have a couple DIY projects up my sleeve, well a lot, but a couple I want to kick out this weekend. My DIY hopes are to kick out our side tables, hang the longer shelves in the dining room and do my table lamps, plus do my key shadow box frame for the key center.

Now onto the trip, we've decided to say screw the luggage and go with duffel bags. Since we're doing so much public transportation we don't want to have to deal with big luggage and wheels. This way we can wear our backpacks, put our duffel bags over our shoulder and be little pack mules. Now just to find good sturdy duffel bags that can survive the luggage compartment of the plane.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

180 Days...

We are now officially less than 6 months away from our trip to Europe! I'm not at the "OMFG we're going to EUROPE" stage yet, but definitely getting there. Tonight we took another big step and paid off our cruise completely and booked our Egypt excursion. By far the most exciting task we've accomplished in regards to this trip. Sure, booking airfare was exciting, but for some reason booking an excursion makes it real. Almost like a confirmation that yes, you ARE going to Egypt! I cannot wait to see the pyramids and ride the Nile. It's almost too good to be true to think that we will actually be going to the place at the top of my bucket list. I won't lie, I might cry.

Speaking of the trip, I've added to my agenda to buy new luggage. Not a cheap task by any means, but when I started really thinking about this trip and doing research, we need lighter luggage! All of our traveling around Rome and to our port in Civitavecchia (where the boat leaves) is done via public transportation and then in Civitavecchia, we have to walk 4 blocks on cobblestones to get to the place where the shuttle picks up. The idea of lugging my heavy ass bags makes my arms hurt. Not to mention we have to take into consideration the weight restrictions on planes. My current luggage is heavy and that just won't work.

I'm sure buying luggage will thrill T. Especially since our trip just keeps costing more and more. The problem is we are finding all these awesome tours in Rome and while they are expensive, we just keep saying "how often do we go to Rome?" Yeah, well, our initial $250 for Rome on our own has rapidly approached $1,000 with all the tours. Our Colosseum tour alone is $120 per person! In my defense though, it includes the dungeons which will be amazing to see. The upgraded tour allows you to walk the same paths that the gladiators did when they were getting ready for a fight. I mean, amazing! It'll be worth it. All the sacrifices we're making now and skipping out on eating out, etc, will be well worth it when we go on this trip.

Finalize decision about trip
Put deposit on cruise
Put in for vacation
Put in for vacation (T)
Pay remaining balance of cruise
Book airfare
Sign up for shore excursions
  Egypt
  Israel
  Greece
  Naples
Book hotel for days before cruise & after
Make sure vaccines up to date
Get visas for required countries
Get all US Embassy info for each country
Get new luggage

Monday, March 5, 2012

215 days..

**We’re now counting down the days until we leave for our trip instead of days until we board the boat**

Excuse my random blogging sabbatical. I’ve noticed since we’re not currently riding the treatment train there just isn’t as much to blog about. No overanalyzing symptoms or freaking out over OPK’s so not much to report there. The break has been nice really. To not stress 24/7 about it has really been good for us as a couple. I’m definitely going back to charting next cycle simply so we still keep an eye on what my body is doing exactly, but our world isn’t going to revolve around it.

There have been some questions as to what are we doing exactly. Are we trying or avoiding? The answer is neither. We are not actively trying to pregnant, nor are we avoiding it. There will come a point where we will actively prevent and that is July. July is when final payment for the trip is due and we pass the 100% refund mark. After that having to cancel will lose us money and that’s something we’re not down for. So if we aren’t with child by then, then we will actively prevent until our trip is done.

Speaking of the trip, we got our backpacks! While I haven’t traveled with it yet, I have messed around with it and it’s awesome! I had a bit of a ditz moment though because I couldn’t find the straps to wear it as a backpack. Apparently they are removable and tucked away in this secret compartment on the backpack. The backpack is sweet though and I’m very pleased with the purchase. I will be using it this weekend when I dog sit for my parents.

Another trip update, we are starting to finalize the excursions we will be doing! Our most exciting (and nerve wracking) one will be in Cairo as we are doing an overnight excursion! I was very much so on the fence about it because of all the civil unrest there, but from what I’ve heard/read as long as you aren’t walking the mean streets of Cairo by yourself at night you should be fine. I guess they tend to avoid large tour groups since there is usually a fair amount of people. So we’re hoping that’s the way it goes. This excursion also offers a lot of amazing opportunities that we couldn’t have otherwise, so we’re rolling the dice. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

That’s about all I got. I might start posting once I start charting again just to keep my OPK pics up since I do know some people actually reference those, but don’t expect the crazy “OMFG is this it” type of post for a while.

Edit: 8:37 pm
Just booked our hotel for after the cruise. Was lucky enough to get the same hotel as our pre-cruise days in Rome!! Woot!

Finalize decision about trip
Put deposit on cruise
Put in for vacation
Put in for vacation (T)
Pay remaining balance of cruise
Book airfare
Sign up for shore excursions
Book hotel for days before cruise & after
Make sure vaccines up to date
Get visas for required countries
Get all US Embassy info for each country

Monday, February 20, 2012

231 Days...

Time is officially creeping by and in fact, at some points I think it's going backwards! Anyway, I am pleased to say that I was able to upgrade our seats to the awesome seats I was bitching about not getting. Yay! We had to pay a small fee to upgrade, but I figured if we're spending that much time on a plane then dammit I'm going to be comfortable! I made the airline verify (multiple times) that we do indeed have those seats.

We also purchased our backpacks for the trip. I obviously can't report on them yet since we haven't actually received them, but I've heard wonderful things about them. Since we are flying overseas we want to make sure we have a couple days worth of clothes on our person so should our bag not make it to Rome, we still have clothes. This will also hopefully keep our packing to minimal. I'm going to try to be daring and only take the backpack, but we'll see. I know that sounds crazy, but we are doing so much traveling via public transportation and walking that I really don't want to be lugging a suitcase around. We have time to decide though.

In other news, I'm sicker than sick right now. Ugh! So on Thursday when I'm all weepy because it's the 1 year mark of our BFP, I'm going to also be congested and have a monster headache. Yeah, that won't make me a psycho bitch at all. Oh well, what can I do right? Speaking of that whole situation, I need to make one thing perfectly clear, this trip is by no means taking away from the disappointment we are feeling. I am hearing a lot of "you're so lucky" and "OMG, I would love to take that trip" and all that jazz, but honestly, I would much prefer to be "tied down" with a healthy baby. I would give up this trip in a heartbeat if I was getting my beautiful take home baby.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

236 Days...


Well, this trip just got put on fast forward! I know most would wait until closer to the trip to make any reservations for airline or hotel. Me on the other hand, nope. I was mad searching today for the best hotels and I found one I LOVED! It's perfect and right across from the Colosseum. Like, right across the street I can see it from my window. Not to mention it's only a few minute walk from the metro station.  This morning they had 5 rooms available for the 2 nights we would be in Rome. This evening, down to 2. So yeah, booking done! It's a little pricey, but for the location we just couldn't pass it up!


**Pictures courtesy of Booking.com First is view from their dining terrace, second is a view of one of their rooms. Look closely at the window, see what's just outside it?!


I think I forgot to mention we are arriving in Rome 2 days early. We decided to take some time to see all the sights and since there is A LOT to see in Rome we needed as much time as possible. We arrive just after 9 am on Sunday, Oct 7th, so that gives us most of Sunday to see the Colosseum and the Forums. Then Monday it's the Trevi Fountain, The Pantheon, Sistine Chapel, Vatican Museum, St. Peter's Basilica and a bunch of other places. 10 pounds, 1 pound bag.

I am super angry with myself for not booking my airfare this morning though. This morning I found AWESOME seats on a flight, but decided to hold off to ask T. By this evening, yeah, gone! I literally was on the verge of tears (apparently the Clomid is NOT entirely out of my system). The seats we do have aren't terrible. They aren't great, but they aren't terrible. At least they have DC outlets so when I'm having my Harry Potter movie marathon on the way from Chicago to Rome I'll be set.

I will be honest though, I'm a little intimidated with the idea of the public transportation. In Rome, they have trains, the metro, buses and from what I've read everyone use them. I grew up in Arizona so the whole public transportation concept is just so foreign to me (hehe, get it, foreign?) We don't even have local buses in the city I live in and I live in a very large city. It's really sad how behind the times we are here in the U.S. compared to these other countries. We plan on using their metro system and rail system A LOT so hopefully we learn fast. I already printed out a map of the rail system and started making my notes. I want to look somewhat like I know what I'm doing. I'm hoping with my dark hair and dark eyes I just blend in with the Italians.

Time to cross more off my list....

Finalize decision about trip
Put deposit on cruise
Put in for vacation
Put in for vacation (T)
Pay remaining balance of cruise
Book airfare
Sign up for shore excursions
Book hotel for days before cruise & after
Make sure vaccines up to date
Get visas for required countries
Get all US Embassy info for each country

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Dust Has Settled...

So now that the dust has settled and the initial excitement from deciding on the trip has worn off, the big question is are we actually going through with this???? Or are we backing out like every other big trip we've tried to take??

Yep, we're actually doing this. I log in every morning actually to see my countdown and today was the first day that there was an obvious shift in the blue. I love that the bar is turning gray! That means we are moving that much closer to the trip. We both are so excited it's not even funny. Even though the trip is quite a few days away, it'll be here before we know it and we have a lot to take care of in between now and then. We have to make sure we have all the required vaccines, get our visas (yep, Egypt requires them in addition to passports) and finalize our bajillion plans, but we're taking it one step at a time. I have a little list going actually:

Finalize decision about trip
Put deposit on cruise
Put in for vacation
Put in for vacation (T)
Pay remaining balance of cruise
Book airfare
Sign up for shore excursions
Book hotel for days before cruise & after
Make sure vaccines up to date
Get visas for required countries
Get all US Embassy info for each country

It's a never ending list that I'm adding to daily as things come up, but we're making progress nonetheless. I'm sure this has you wondering what we are doing about the baby situation. Well, nothing right now. I have an appointment scheduled with awesome doc to discuss our options, but I have a feeling he's going to tell me that we need this trip to regroup and refocus. I agree with that. It's nice to have something to look forward to that we have control over and that we know is going to actually happen. Our lives were put on hold last year because of the baby thing and now all we have is an empty house and regret that we stopped living.

Don't think though that the one year anniversary of our BFP and miscarriage isn't weighing on my mind. It is more than I ever imagined it would. My heart longs for our little Spawn with every breath that I take. I actually discussed with T about getting another tattoo, for Spawn. He's cool with my getting a tattoo, then again, it wasn't really a discussion. It was more like me saying "I'm getting another tattoo" and him saying "okay." I finally decided on my tattoo too. It's going to be a butterfly resting with it's wings together and small stars surrounding it. To honor my baby who lives in the stars. I love you sweet Spawn, to the moon and back.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I Interrupt My Normal TTCAL Broadcasting...

There is no denying this past year has been tough. It has really tested T and I as a couple and I'll be honest, in recent weeks our marriage has started to rapidly nose dive. Between my insane mood swings and just the overall pressure we're at each others throats and an intervention is needed. I have mentioned in the past that we have talked about taking a big trip, but always found reasons to not do it. We go through spurts where we get on a vacation kick and mentally plan these awesome vacations, but never take them. We found ourselves doing that again yesterday. We've wanted to go to Europe since before we were even engaged. For 6 years we've talked about it. We've planned it. We've backed out...every time.

We found an amazing cruise that hits all the places we both are so desperate to see. Rome for T, he is a HUGE fan of the roman culture and has been talking about the Colosseum since I've known him. Egypt has been on my bucket list since I first started learning about their culture in Elementary School. Greece, some of the most amazing sights to see. So we started looking at this trip and planned our dream trip. Figured out airfare, the cruise, all the details and it would make things tight, but doable. Once again we said "too much money," and started talking ourselves out of it. Then I started tweaking the trip, changing to an interior room from a balcony room. Changing the flight days. Just a few tweaks here and there and suddenly I had taken $3,000 off the total of the trip. It was within our grasp, but we still couldn't pull the trigger. Then I logged into Pinterest...


I took it as a sign and we talked serious about this trip. The past year has been one super tough emotional roller coaster and while we know kids are absolutely something we want to do, it's tearing our marriage apart. We need a break to focus on us. So we talked, and we talked, and we crunched the numbers, and we talked, and we...BOOKED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, after talking and talking and running circles we decided to take our trip of a lifetime. I'm giving up charting and we are going to see where things lead. Of course we have the trip insurance and should a baby be on the way, we'd adapt and adjust, but we have made the decision to give this a break. I'm tired, T's tired, and we need this for us. To say we're excited is the understatement of the century. Not only are we giving our relationship the TLC it desperately needs, we are fulfilling a lifelong dream. We will have kids someday and we'll have the most amazing vacation story to share with them.