6w: Weekly Update

I have decided to tweak the weekly updates. I realized that all I’m simply doing is input and regurgitation and not really documenting our progress. I went back to compare some of my symptoms to the symptoms I had with Spawn around this time and quickly realized I didn’t document any and on top of that, I don’t remember. I guess somewhere in the back of my head I thought I’d never forget, but I did. So I’ve decided to make these a little more personal. Feel free to read or skip. Once we've had our u/s in December I also intend on adding weekly bump pictures so we can watch Offspring and I grow!

How far along are you: 6 weeks
How big is baby: 1/3 inch
Baby is as big as a: Sweet Pea
Total weight gain/loss: 0
Are you showing: No, I’m at that awkward look like I’m just indulging too much this holiday season bloated stage.
Maternity clothes: No
Food aversions: Nothing specific yet, but I do have a very sensitive tummy.
Cravings: Sugary sweets (not chocolate)
Sleep: Good
How do you feel: Bloated, exhausted and my boobs hurt constantly. Also the occasional nausea is kicking in.
Movements: Too early
Gender guess: Boy
Best moment this week: Getting slight confidence to look at baby things
What I miss: Coffee (I’d kill for a double shot peppermint mocha)
What I am looking forward to: Our u/s in December
Weekly wisdom: Keep saltines and 7-up in your house at all times, you never know when the urge to puke will come.

5w3d: Stomach Flu While Pregnant Sucks

I love my nephew, I super do. However, spending time with him over Turkey day has left me feeling like complete crap. He had a touch of the stomach flu and we all pretty much assumed it was just travelers issues, but turns out it wasn't. I spent all Friday night up and tossing my cookies and yesterday was pretty much spent going back and forth between my bed and the bathroom. In the last 36 hours the only thing I've eaten is like 4 sugar free popsicles and a dozen saltines and a diet 7-up. I weighed myself and found out I've lost 4 pounds. Yeah, it's been bad.

The good news is that despite feeling like total crap, I've still managed to take my Crinone as prescribed and managed to keep it secure. No spotting and no Offspring issues, so hopefully this go with the tummy flu has left him/her unscathed. Now to survive until our first appt in 22 days. Not that I'm counting down or anything...

5w: Weekly Update

How your baby's growing:

Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

How your life's changing:

You may notice some pregnancy-related discomforts already. Many women report sore breasts, fatigue, and frequent urination starting in the early weeks. You may also have nausea, though it's more likely to show up in the coming weeks.

The outside world won't see any sign of the dramatic developments taking place inside you — except that you're turning down that glass of wine with dinner, perhaps. It's important to avoid alcohol throughout your pregnancy since no one knows exactly how much — or how little — alcohol can harm a developing baby.

You'll also want to continue or start an exercise routine. Exercise helps you develop the strength and endurance you'll need to manage the extra weight you'll be carrying. It may help prevent some of the aches and pains of pregnancy, and many women find that it's a great stress-reducer. Exercise can also help you get ready for the physical rigors of labor.

Finally, it's easier to bounce back after you give birth if you've continued some form of exercise throughout pregnancy. Choose a safe, moderately vigorous activity you enjoy. Walking and swimming are fine choices for pregnant women

4w3d: Expecting vs. Expecting after a loss

I belong to an online community for women. While a lot of folks joke and criticize people who do that, a lot of these ladies have saved my sanity. When we lost Spawn and entered the hell that was TTCAL I found great comfort in having a place to go to vent my feelings to people who "got it." There was no judgement or criticisms, just other ladies who understood and in turn shared their stories and fears with me. I've met some ladies who've since turned into real life friends. We Facebook, we text and in some cases we even meet for lunch. It doesn't matter that we met online, they are friendships that stem from something much deeper than anything I could describe.

Now that we're so blessed to be expecting I no longer post on the one board I've been active on since Spawn. It's bittersweet actually. I'm happy to be pregnant again, but I miss a lot of these ladies so much. Some of them I still talk to on Facebook and text, but I don't post on that board out of respect for the ladies who are still on their TTCAL journey. I know that some day's it was hard for me to see someone who had their new pregnancy info in their signature. I've now moved over to the pregnant board and I'm glad to be amongst a lot of awesome women there. I've also joined a regular birth month board...this board I'm not as comfortable on.

It's apparent to me with some 90% of the daily posts that being pregnant versus being pregnant after a loss are two very different journeys. I envy these ladies honestly. If only my biggest worry was stretch marks, gasp, or looking forward to my boobs getting bigger. It's hard for me to not roll my eyes at the countless "I'm exhausted" and other "woe is me" posts. I get it, pregnancy isn't easy, but I'm of the mindset that I'm so very grateful to be pregnant that I don't care what type of effect it's having on me. Am I tired? Yes. Do my boobs hurt? Yep. Do I have cramps. All the time. Am I constantly complaining about them? No. It's all just a sign that there is a miracle growing within me.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying these ladies don't have the right to vent. They do. Just as I have the right to roll my eyes and feel they are oh so vain (dude, who cares if you get stretch marks? Isn't a healthy baby worth it?) and whiny (lay down, we all know you're tired), and sometimes oblivious (OMG! How are you announcing squee! :insert eye roll here:). I wish my focus was on picking out a cute way to announce or planning out my gender reveal party already. It's not though. My focus is on doing everything in my damn power to keep this pregnancy. To try to jump over the hurdles and keep a positive attitude while trying not to lose my sanity.

I know I'm just jealous. I'm jealous that I can't have that happy, giddy, oblivious pregnancy. I hope I get there someday, just today, I'm all too aware at just how bad things can really get. Offspring, please PLEASE stick in there baby. We love you so much.

4w1d: A Closet Alcoholic

I’m quite sure my co-workers think I’m a closet alcoholic. I’m not kidding.

I’m still very early in my pregnancy and it’s the first one after our loss, so of course I’m a barrel of nerves which means every time I feel a twinge or a tweak or something more graphic than that I hightail it to the ladies room with a mysterious bulge in my sweater pocket (no, it’s not a flask it’s my cell phone). Which of course everything shows to be status quo and I tell myself “Dude, you need to chill out.” Well, that’s until 20 minutes later and I feel something else and just repeat the cycle. Adding the supplement to the game has just caused more of this.

I’m not complaining. Believe me, I’m so not complaining. I will run to the ladies room every 20 minutes for the next 9 months if I have to, but I’m sure at some point an intervention is going to be held in our Office Administrator’s office. I imagine it will be something to the effect of “L, a lot of people are very concerned about your behavior.” I mean, it’s not like she can say “Look lady are you a lush or do you have IBS? Which is it?” She’s a nice person so it would be nice. She’d probably hand me some pamphlet full of information about alcoholism and AA and all that. I’m sure when I leave for the day someone goes through my drawers looking for my flask. I should add one just for kicks. Little does anyone know that I never drink. No really, I don’t. I drank on our trip and that was probably one of the first times this year. I’ve never been fond of the drink.

I almost want to change Offspring’s nickname to Lush or Alchie. Something to remind me that people seriously think I have an issue. It probably doesn’t help that a couple of times when I’ve ran to the ladies room, and thought I was alone in there, I’ve let out a “whew, thank goodness, I’m just losing my mind.” Then of course I hear the toilet flush, my hand promptly slaps over my mouth and I sit perfectly still trying not to breathe as if that is going to reverse what I just said. No, I’m okay, just thankful that blood isn’t pooling in my undies, no big deal, carry on.

So why do I think that people think I might have an issue? Almost every time I come back from the ladies room someone is staring at me like “Oh that poor thing, 28 years old and already throwing her life away to the drink. Pity.”

4w: Offspring

It's Thursday which happens to be the day of the week where I advance in weeks in this pregnancy. This is the point in which a lot of women find out they are expecting. Here I am feeling like I'm a lifetime in already. It's the waiting. It does that.

Speaking of waiting, I got my results back from Beta #2. HCG is at 57 and P4 is up to 16. My doubling time on the HCG was 35.9 hours so I'm VERY happy with that. I'm even pleased with my P4 considering I only took 2 doses of the Crinone before they took the draw. I spoke with the midwife (she called to see how I was feeling and to give me the results) and she said they were happy with the progress. I even scheduled my appointment, but couldn't get in until 8w4d. I'm not excited about the wait, but I really want T to be there. I need him there this time.

With the good news on the betas comes to arrival of the nickname, Offspring. I feel better now that we're not referring to Offspring as "it". I hate that! S/he is not an "it", s/he is my baby and deserves to be considered as such. Now that we are feeling just a tad more confident as well, I'm starting the weekly updates as well. Eventually I might add the weekly bump pictures, but we'll see.

For today, I'm happy and I'm pregnant!

4w: Weekly Update

How your baby's growing:

This week marks the beginning of the embryonic period. From now until 10 weeks, all of your baby's organs will begin to develop and some will even begin to function. As a result, this is the time when she'll be most vulnerable to anything that might interfere with her development.

Right now your baby is an embryo the size of a poppy seed, consisting of two layers: the epiblast and the hypoblast, from which all of her organs and body parts will develop.

The primitive placenta is also made up of two layers at this point. Its cells are tunneling into the lining of your uterus, creating spaces for your blood to flow so that the developed placenta will be able to provide nutrients and oxygen to your growing baby when it starts to function at the end of this week.

Also present now are the amniotic sac, which will house your baby; the amniotic fluid, which will cushion her as she grows; and the yolk sac, which produces your baby's red blood cells and helps deliver nutrients to her until the placenta has developed and is ready to take over this duty.

How your life's changing:

Sometime this week, you may be able to find out whether you're pregnant. For the most accurate results, wait until the end of the week to take a home pregnancy test. (You can try one now if you like, but you're more likely to get a correct result a week past your expected period.)

If the test is positive, call your practitioner's office and schedule your first prenatal appointment. Most practitioners won't see you until you're about eight weeks along, unless you have a medical condition, had problems with a previous pregnancy, or are having symptoms that need to be checked out.

 

If you're taking any medications — prescription or over-the-counter — ask now whether it's safe to keep taking them. And be sure to alert your caregiver to any other issues of concern.

You should already be taking a multivitamin that contains at least 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid. Once you're pregnant, you'll need a bit more — 600 mcg a day — so switch to a prenatal vitamin if you haven't already.

The next six weeks are critical to your baby's development. The rudimentary versions of the placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already functioning. Through the placenta, your baby is exposed to what you take into your body, so make sure it's good for both of you.