TTA Until 01/01/2015

The title pretty much speaks for itself. After weighing all the pro’s & con’s and discussing until the cows came home, we have made the decision to put off having a child. This is something we feel is best for us and for our future child.

The biggest driving factor behind this decision is the fact that we’ve wasted our 20’s. Since getting engaged, all major decisions have been made around a life we don’t even have. The size of house we bought, to accommodate a family. The type of cars we bought, to accommodate a family. Not taking big trips “just in case” and not doing anything big to the house because “you never know.” Then of course you have all the fighting that was going on.

The past year has been hell on T and I. Point blank. There have been many tears, threats of divorce and arguing until we weren’t on speaking terms. Infertility can test even the strongest of relationships. Emotions run VERY high and the pressure is at maximum so it’s no wonder that our marriage was rocky, at best. We just realized over the past few months of planning this big trip how great things have gotten for us. We rarely fight and even then it’s just a little bicker. We haven’t had a knock down argument in months. We are happy and laughing and enjoying our time together. That’s when it hit me, trying to have a family is exactly what was tearing mine apart.

I know some people will think T pressured me into this, but that is not at all what happened. He was completely on board for going to the RE at the beginning of next year and doing what we needed to do. It was me who said “I think we need the brakes.” Of course he agreed that it’s been very taxing on our relationship, to say the least, and we’re pretty maxed out. We had a nice discussion about it and got on the same page that right now our relationship isn’t where it needs to be to successfully have a family. Right now I’m not where I need to be to me a good mother.

We “celebrated” our decision by buying the LED 3D TV I’ve been lusting after and sharing ideas of things we want to do to the house. We’ve also mapped out 2 more vacations. As of today it’s looking like Australia in November, 2013 and the British Isles in October, 2014. Right now is the time for us to take risks and take chances, maybe scratch some stuff off the bucket list. When I have a child, I want to be able to say without any doubt in my mind that I did everything I set out to do before having a family. Right now, I’m not even close.

We also are 85% sure we are team one and done. Of course we might change our minds once we have a child, but we’re both pretty sure we’ll only have one. I would rather give one kid an amazing childhood full of every opportunity and amazing travels around the world. I want my child to not have to worry about paying for college or not being able to do a sport or not get to see this big beautiful world we live in. We only live once, live it up right?