DPO & Babblings...

To say that I was on my A game this cycle is a gross understatement. I was determined to catch my O this month and let me tell you, I DID! I actually did something I never do and that's start testing what I suspected to be very early in my cycle. Missing last months O made me a bit psychotic this cycle so I started on CD7 in the evening. Even though I ended up using 19 OPK's this cycle (yikes!) I'm still glad I did it. We had awesome timing as a result so here's to hoping!!

Now that I've O'd, it's time to wait for FF to give me my crosshairs, that I already know I'm going to disagree with. My temp was a bit weird the few days right before I O'd, it pretty much stayed the exact same which is odd for me. The day after I know I O'd my temp stayed low so it's going to throw it off. It will put me at O'ing on CD17 which is false, it was CD16. I know this because thanks to the Clomid O'ing is pretty painful. I have awful cramps leading up to it and the actual day I O it's miserable. So we'll see.

I can definitely say this cycle has been by far the most emotional of them all. I was insanely emotional and I've just found myself being really maxed out on this. I keep blaming the Clomid, but now that I'm later in my cycle I'm thinking that I am genuinely maxed out. If this isn't our cycle we might take some time off which I know sounds counter productive to our goal, but sometimes you need to take a mental health break. I'm rapidly approaching that.

This cycle I also decided to take a posting break from the message board I post on. Mostly due to my own issues and the need for me to actually focus on me for once, but also because there are some posters who've joined in recent weeks/months and I just don't agree with the way the board is changing. It seems to be more like a popularity contest at this point which is sad. I also noticed a lot of the other "regular oldies" have stopped posting too. I think we all agree, the board isn't what it should be. Once these ladies get their BFP and move on I'll go back to posting, but for now I am taking a leave to prevent any further drama. I just don't need it.

I'll probably be pretty quiet for the next few days/weeks while we wait. I have my testing date set up for 02/09/2012 which will be 12DPO and I'm really hoping we get our much longed for BFP. If we don't, I'm not really sure how I'll be able to make it through the next two months. Our 1 year anniversary of our BFP & subsequent loss are rapidly approaching and it's putting my anxiety at high right now. We'll see...