If I was watching me on tv, I would literally say "bitch done lost her mind" because quite frankly I have. I accepted defeat with my temp drops on Friday and Saturday. It sucked, but I nutted up and was moving forward. I even started to look on the bright side. Then Sunday my temp went up just slightly. No biggie. My temps have done that before on CD1. It was barely a rise so thought nothing of it. Then I temped this morning.....
Uhh...WTF is that body?! Is it the Clomid? Is this my body's new norm? Am I in a family way? Yeah, little jump there pretty much put me in a tailspin. I said goodbye to my sanity and acceptance and welcomed my good old friend, bat shit crazy, back. Of course I did what any BSC chick in the 2ww would do, I took another HPT. You guessed it, negative (you're a cheater if you looked at my results on my chart, just sayini'.)
Now, most calm, rational and sane people would just chalk this up to my randomly whacked temps this month and say it's nothing, AF is on her way. Accept it, love it, move on. Well, as I previously stated the calm, rational and sane chick in me has left the building and Mrs. BSC is back so of course, it had to be that my cheapie tests aren't working. In my defense though, with Spawn, I never got a positive on the cheap dollar store test. No joke. Not even when I had already seen the heartbeat. So I stopped off at Walgreen's on my way home to buy my beloved First Response test. I only got the line tests since I already have a box of ClearBlue digitals (for actual word confirmation when a real line exists.) I bought them to test with FMU. It is possible, highly unlikely, but possible none the less that I could still be in a family way and still too early to tell. Well, Mrs. BSC is impatient and tested tonight. To every other sane person who isn't an emotional basket case right now, it's negative. To my BSC clinging onto what little hope there is with my bloody fingernails side swears there is the faintest of faint lines. You know, the imaginary you so badly want to be pregnant faint lines. **Disclaimer: there really ISN'T a line. I finally uploaded the pic and inverted the colors, so no line there**
Now that I've spent another $17 on tests, just to prove that I'm really not pregnant, I'm sure AF will show tomorrow after I get a huge temp dip. I will then come back, read this post and shake my head at the chick who wrote it. I swore I would never become one of those women (oh don't pretend you don't know what type I'm talking about), but I totally have. I'm going to blame the Clomid for now, even though there isn't a chance it's still in my bloodstream, I'm going to try to work that for all it's worth. If tomorrow should bring even the slightest of temp rises, you know what that means...
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