HSG & SA Scheduled

Well, got the call yesterday from the imaging place. They had received the orders from my doc and wanted to schedule my HSG. Of course the woman asks what day is good for me. I respond only to have her tell me “well, we only do them between 2 pm and 3 pm and they have to be done between these cycle days.” Okay, so the point of asking me was what exactly? Anyway, the HSG is scheduled for April 11th at 2:30 pm. T’s SA will be done that morning. In between we are planning to have lunch and just putz around since they are both on the East side and I live on the West side.

I’m going into this with a rational mind. Everyone is telling me to keep positive and wish for the best, but that has not proven to help me in the past. I’m going into this with the thought that they will find something wrong with either T or additional issues with me. At least this way when they tell us I won’t feel like the oxygen was sucked from the room. If we get good news, then it will be that much more exciting because we were expecting bad. At this point negative mojo isn’t going to affect the outcome of the tests.

We are hoping to get the results either Thursday or Friday. In theory I will know the day of my HSG if they see anything bad/blocked. T’s SA results should be back with my doc’s office on Thursday and hopefully they will call us that day, but worst case scenario Friday we will know if we are being shipped off to an RE. I have mixed feelings about an RE. Part of me wants to go to one because this is their job. They focus solely on getting the pregnancy to happen. They know the tests to run, the meds to give, the procedures to do. Not that Dr. Awesome hasn’t been amazing. I mean, he’s been the best OB I’ve ever had, but even he said he just doesn’t have the resources available that we might need. Then of course there is the dread that we will actually be sent to one. It’s like driving that final nail into the coffin that we will not have children on our own.

T and I have somewhat started the talks about adoption. It’s something we’ve both always been open to, but now we’re actually starting to put some serious thought into it. I think we’ve both pretty much decided on international adoption for us. I know it’s expensive and has its share of hurdles, but that’s just what feels right for us. We’ve talked about maybe Poland seems we’re both of Polish decent. China is also on the table. I’m not thrilled about going to Asia, but if my child is there then so be it. No decisions have been made and we’re in the very early discussion phase. Should it turn out that biological children are not in our cards, we will need time to grieve that loss before we can shift our focus to adoption. I’m just relieved to know that should it come to that, T is right there with me.